Quite the comic
by HeavyRotation
Summary: Maria mocks the Captain.


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing!

**A/N**: Hearing the nuns sing about Maria reminded me there are still plenty of her quirks we didn't get to see. This story tries to delve more into her clowning around. This is a one shot, hope you enjoy. :) Takes place after the Lonely Goatherd but before the party.

_**Quite the comic!**_

Ever since the Captain embraced his children's newfound love of music… as well as re-embraced his own, the atmosphere was considerably better in the Von Trapp villa. The children looked rather relaxed and their father's appreciation of their puppet show put them in great spirits. However, while he accepted and came to approve their regular playtime now, the Captain remained the captain of the house. Certain rules still applied, some of which Maria found puzzling but didn't question. Okay, _tried_ not to question.

There was an odd mixture and development in the way he treated her. They did definitely have a rocky start which seemed to have vastly improved and she couldn't help an occasional tingle in her stomach whenever their gazes met. But even that friendly tone aside, she did manage to get an… unfavorable reaction from him sometimes. Which, she figured, often had a lot to do with her own inability to keep her _honesty_ in check.

Aside from having suffered a painful loss, he had seen enough of the world through war to be as tough as he was, yet Maria saw it from the first moment that his coping mechanism was hurting the children. Opening his eyes seemed to have made him tolerate her demeanor. Whatever Maria had said or done that he didn't like, even if annoyed for the moment, he seemed to realize her intentions had never been bad. He couldn't deny the life and the spark bubbling inside her and that was what drove her now too.

Frau Schmidt had asked her for any clothes she didn't need anymore for the household was preparing to dispose of the family's old ones. Maria was surprised to learn that every once in a while they simply threw away old, out of use garments. Being Maria, she had convinced the Captain to donate them to the poor instead. The Baroness found it an odd idea but laughed it off, while the Captain merely shrugged and agreed.

While he, Max and the Baroness went on an outing in Salzburg, Maria had turned the whole thing into a game. The children were having fun sorting their old clothes. They were busy bagging everything they had collected at the bottom of the stairs of the terrace. The day being as beautiful as it was, Maria thought it would be a fun outdoor activity.

Having more than just clothes that the Captain and his household intended to throw away, it slowly turned into a big load of donation. Maria laughed as she watched the children fool around with the items, obviously having fun. Kurt decided to pull one of Liesl's very old and worn dresses over his head to clown around, except it got stuck on his shoulders, leaving him all tangled up. The others laughed and it was Maria who had to help him out of it for the others were way too pleased with the sight to do anything about it.

After playfully throwing the extracted garment over Gretl's head and gaining a giggle from the little girl, Maria turned to see Franz standing on top of the stairs with a bag in hand, his face as blank as ever.

"Captain Von Trapp's items to dispose of." The butler offered as an explanation and waited until Maria walked up the stairs. She took it from him and Franz turned, walking away without another word. Maria turned back to the children, mimicking the butler's stance and facial expression which in turn made them laugh. As the children resumed their shuffling around, Maria felt an irresistible urge to peek inside the bag.

The Captain's clothes. Although she was aware he clearly did not want the content of that bag anymore, Maria felt they were still a part of him. She felt inclined to examine them without being intrusive but a sudden wave of guilt overcame her. Should she or should she not? Giving it a careful consideration, she came to the conclusion these items would be eventually handed out to the poor anyway, so what harm could it do to take a look? Just a very, very quick look.

She opened the bag and to her surprise, the item on the top was a telescope. Pulling it open she saw that the glass inside was broken, probably the reason why he was throwing it away, but it was a telescope nevertheless. She couldn't help the smile as she tried imagining the Captain with it. Oddly, this was the first time she actually had a vision of him as a Sea Captain – accessorized, that is. His attitude was very much of a Navy Officer's.

Grabbing her white headscarf from the table nearby and pulling it over her hair, Maria's face reflected that of a mischievous child's. Feeling upbeat from being able to help people out with all these items, she gave in to the urge to fool around a little. Just the thought of how much floor kissing this would earn her from Sister Berthe made her glad she wasn't at the abbey at the moment but made a mental note to proceed with the all too familiar task anyway later on.

Still standing at top of the stairs, Maria cleared her throat to gain the children's attention and held out the telescope for everyone to see. Then she broke into a song.

"_What should we do with a drunken sailor? So the saying goes. I'm not tight and I'm non too bright. Great Scott? I don't suppose_" Maria swayed and held on to the stone railing for great dramatic effect. The children giggled, all thoughts of the clothes suddenly forgotten as they watched their governess clown around.

Clutching the telescope, she pulled herself up and walked proudly to the middle -- as if on a stage.

„_I lost my way and I lost my pay, and to make the thing complete… I've been and gone and lost the blooming fleet_!" Her hand flew to the top of her head in typical Maria fashion, making a funny face as she belted out the lines. Marta fell back laughing at their governess' silly face, right into Louisa's lap who helped steady her.

Opening the telescope, Maria peered into it and continued singing. „_Has anybody seen my ship? The H.M.S. Peculiar." _Turning back to her audience, she shrugged her shoulders_. "I've been on shore for a month or more" _Then she pointed behind her back to the villa, the residence of the man she was about to refer to. "…_and when I see the Captain I should get 'what for'?_" The pretense panic on Maria's face went greatly with her arms spreading out to get her point across.

The children erupted in an even louder laughter, the older ones who got Maria's implication enjoyed the subtle mockery a bit more than Gretl and Marta. Finding enjoyment at their father's expense wasn't unfamiliar to the Von Trapp children, Fraulein Maria seemed to have that magic touch to make their father's antics seem a little less threatening or serious every once in a while.

„_Heave ho, me hearties. Sing Glory, Hallelujah! A lady bold as she could be, pinched my whistle at the Golden Key_." She made her way down the stairs to join her charges, looking at each of their faces as she continued her song.

„_Now, __I'm in between the devil and the deep blue sea. Has anybody seen my ship?" _Maria clumsily rushed to the landing, goofing around with the telescope again, looking out to all directions over the lake. "_Has anybody seen my ship? The H.M.S. Suggestive_"

Spinning around, proudly raising her head and holding the telescope out high in front of her, Maria marched back up to the giggling children.

„_She sailed away across the bay. And I haven't had a smell of her since New Year's day_"

She dramatically spun around, her back to the terrace and finished the song, looking from one Von Trapp child to another. _„Has anybody seen? Has anybody seen? Has anybody seen? Has anybody seen? Has anybody, anybody, anybody seen… Has anybody seen my ship??"_

The children applauded as Maria curtsied, a deep laughter from somewhere behind her on the terrace or Kurt's loud gasp and renewed giggles didn't register on her mind just yet. It was only when she spun around to return the telescope into the bag that she got the shock of her life. The Captain stood on top of the stairs, staring at her.

Maria first went pale before she blushed furiously and her eyes went wide, her knees almost giving out. Her initial reaction was to immediately hide the telescope behind her back and stand as straight as she could. She looked utterly guilty. That was when Max's laughter finally registered on her mind, his obvious enjoyment of the situation apparently enabled the children's mad giggles too.

As for Maria, she very much wished to be on a ship somewhere very far from here at the moment. Or up on a tree, or back at the abbey disagreeing with Sister Berthe. But there was no stern expression or anger anywhere on his face. Maria found herself staring at an amused Captain Von Trapp, even if she failed to realize it just yet. With his eyebrows slightly raised, his lips suggested a controlled but nevertheless tiny smile. Whether it was because of her little performance or his joy over her obvious embarrassment, she wasn't sure. She wondered how much he had seen of it all. Just the mere possibility of the Captain witnessing the entire thing sent another wave of blush up to her cheeks.

"Marvelous!" Max's upbeat and cheery tone while he clapped his hands grabbed her attention but she found herself unable to break eye contact with the Captain. Max laughed as he walked closer. "Quite the comic, Fraulein. Tell me there are other just as talented nuns in your abbey. What a charming little group performance that could be at the festival, since Georg is so adamant about keeping his children from…"

"Max." The Captain warned, he was getting tired of hearing about the festival. _A singing nun group?_ Now that would give Sister Berthe a field day, Maria thought. This little interruption was enough for Maria to quickly lover her eyes however, now trying to look at everything and everyone but her employer

"Alright children, go inside and get ready for lunch." The Captain instructed everyone and they didn't need any more than that. Their task at hand completely forgotten, they stormed up the stairs past their father and a still flustered looking Maria and ran inside. Max, still unable to let go of his amusement, simply turned and followed suit, laughing all the way.

Still clutching and hiding the telescope behind her as if keeping that item from his eyes could reaffirm the 'out of sight, out of mind' theory, Maria stood unmoving, waiting for him to leave, too.

"At ease, sailor." His voice held the humor that he definitely saw in the situation and Maria bit her lower lip, surprised that his attention returned to her. Her eyes shot up to him again and she opened her mouth to speak… but nothing came out.

"Are you not going to have lunch?" The Captain asked when he saw the hesitation in her eyes.

"Oh… yes. Yes." Maria nodded vehemently, ready to go inside when she realized the telescope was still in her grasp. Blushing yet again, she turned and tried to close it. Except it got stuck. _Oh please not now_. After unsuccessfully fiddling with it for a few moments, she almost jumped when the Captain extended a hand.

"I'll take care of that." He told her and Maria stopped. After a very brief glance in his direction, she handed him the telescope, slowly stepped aside and then took off running inside the house. The Captain turned after her and only when she was clearly out of sight did he let out a deep, hearty laugh.

Georg Von Trapp was anything but angry. Seeing the delight on his children's faces… as well as the ball of energy that Maria was, he found himself charmed by her yet again. Shaking his head, he slid the telescope shut, dropped it in the bag he had recognized containing his own items and turned on his heels to join the others for lunch, too.

The End

Has Anybody Seen Our Ship was slightly modified for a solo as you could tell. :p Feedback's always welcome :) Thanks for reading!


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